#I don’t want a summer fling, I don’t want just any summer thing.

naturesflow:

But everyone says, fuck it, summers here, lets be single and go potatoes. 

That aint my thing anymore. If I can spend everyday doing whatever I want with the person I want, then I’m chillin. Saves you money and everything else is smooth sailin if you know where you stand. No one needs to go honey dippin every night, its all just a sport…& I’m not down to play. 

I wanna spoil someone with my free time, less studies means I got someone to really detail & we can do extra credit :] You can be my essay because I can easily write ten pages on why I love spending time with just us. Pullin all nighters aint no busy business with you and I, its just business. 

I’m not lookin for you, because I’m really bad at choosing for myself apparently, but I hope you’re out there lookin for me, because there are many summers to make up for.

This is the time in life to be adventurous, and I’m waiting for my adventure partner. 

its not fair!!

why are these feelings coming back for you out of nowhere??why do i miss you like crazyy now.i though they were gone,but after seeing your pictures,its like i cant stand it.i look at your face and remembered everything we’d been though.all the things you’ve done for me.how you saw every single one of my imperfections and still overlooked them.i missed how when you looked into my eyes, i felt safe.like i was the only girl you wanted.you even chose me over your family at times.you did so much for me.i remember,when we got into a fight so bad,i thought we were done for good.i txted one of my ex’s,and ask him for advice on what to do.cause i had never in my life wanted to lose someone as amazing as you.out of all guys, you were the most patient with me.you asked me out many times and i told you i wasnt ready.but you still made an effort to still talk.the day i finally said yes,was the day we got out babygirl.what we had was a damn roller coaster,but it made us realize how much we didnt want to lose each other after every fight.i felt really lucky that you chose me out of everyone that was on your dick.i got jealous a lot cause damn well i was scared to lose you.but i shouldnt have been,cause if you wanted someone else,you would of dropped me already.but i was scared someone better might have came along.just like every guy.reason why i never felt good enough.why i take everyones compliments as a joke.because of the damn guys that came into m life,fucked with my emotions and just left like nothing.reason to why i trust no nigga…if i had one wish,it’d be to get another start with you..

stress!stress!STRESS!

trying to do something for my birthday has been nothing but stress.im not even doing this for myself.all these bottles arent for me.its for everyone to have a good time.its to bring people closer,and to just get fucked up and forget their problems.im not trying to be selfish,but all this is just giving me problems of my own,and i just want to freaken cancel.im not even really in control of this shit.i know nothings going to go according to the plan,but shit.shouldnt tmro and saturday be about me?it is my damn birthday.this hasnt been my damn month.i’ve cried 2-3 times already,and teared up so many times.in my head,i just want to grab all the bottles and drink it then throw the damn bottles at someones face.but i know before i could do that,i’d have alcohol poisoning.better than dealing with this shit.i might be a little over dramatic and selfish but shit, how can i not be.wanting to cancel the party then have something pop up and let me break in front of everyone,shit.as emotional as i am on here,im not like that in real person.i dont show my emotions much.i’d barely let anyone know whats wrong.i’d cover it up by getting mad.being mad is my only way to cover up my fear,my sadness,anything that shows my weakness.i dont know, sorry im not like everyone to just let things go with the flow like that,esp for tmro night.im just so done with dealing with drama and bullshit that i cant have it tmro.yea i know there might be some that are going to pop up, but shit.ifs theres too many….

I didn't know you have a kid..

i used to be yours..

i used to be the one that made you laugh,smile,cry.i used to be the one that was by your side through thick and thin.and i used to be called yours.now you’ve moved on and replaced.i miss you more than anything,cause you were def the best out of everyone.if i had one wish for anything,i’d wish to be yours again.but,even so,im glad you’re happy.you deserve to be.i wouldnt want it any other way.if someone else can bring you the smile i used to love to see, then so be it.no one really knew of what we were.they just saw the constant crying and arguing.they never saw why i never gave up when they said to let you go.you were truly special.and im so happy that i was able to call you mines.i wish we could of been friends without it being awkward,but i dont think thats ever going to happen.i still have feelings for you,and i dont know when that’ll go away.i sleep with aerialine almost every night.our babygirl<3 she’s the only thing i have left from what we had…i care about you more than anything, and i wish i knew how you were really doing.who knows,maybe one day,we’ll run into each other again and we could catch up.maybe..

fuckk, 2more days….im so nervouss.then i gotta workthe next day,on my damn birthday-__- hangover forsure.

get a reg. civic. the si is too fast and will break quickly if you dont know how to drive it. get a civic that stick.

but thats the whole point,i want to go fast.bonus,is its pretty.and if anything i can learn.